END TIME: California Allows First-Ever State Recognized Human-Animal Marriage

Paul Horner and his dog Mac at their wedding on Monday in front of friends, family and a priest
declaring their love towards each other for eternity.
San Francisco, CA  On Monday history was made at the Chapel of Our Lady at the Presidio in San Francisco as the first-ever state recognized human-animal marriage took place.


Local resident 35-year-old Paul Horner was the groom during the ceremony. Joining him was his loyal dog Mac who is 36-years-old in dog years. Mac also decided to be the groom but ended up wearing a white veil at the last moment.

Father McHale who officiated the outdoor wedding told reporters he was extremely happy to be a part of this joyous moment of life. This is the definition of true love my friends. There is nothing more sacred than the bond between a man and his loyal dog, McHale said. Now, since it is recognized as a legally binding marriage in the state of California, Mr. Horner and Mac will have all the same tax benefits and all else coming to them that a regular married couple would get. Its a astonishing day to be alive!
So how could this have happened?

In the book of Californias State Laws and Regulations there is a tiny known law that was passed as the state was first forming in 1850. According to article 155, paragraph 10, it clearly states:

If a man and a man can profit married and a girl and a girl can acquire married, if ever comes that day, then a human and animal will have the exact same rights to marriage in every eye of the law. God help us if this ever is to happen!

In attendance was Horners entire family who flew in from Hawaii to witness the event. Mac had her puppies on hand and making a special celebrity appearance was Alex from Strohs and Spuds Mckenzie.

I just love my Mac so much, I cant wait till we can finally acquire back to the honeymoon sweet in Montana where bestiality is legal. Gosh, profit with the times California! We can marry here just fine, but love making is a huge no-no, said Horner. People save asking me why I wanted to marry a dog. I told them I just desire the same god given rights that every person in California is allowed to have. Dont tell me I cant marry my dog. I dont tell you that you cant marry a 500 lb woman with gas issues. Thats your decision. Dont tread on me. I love my dog and I know he loves me a hundred times more than any gay wedding out there.

With this wedding between a man and a male dog now upon the books, one can only ask what is in store next?

A man marrying a toaster? A toaster marrying a dog? A toaster marrying a toaster?

America, what happened to the sanctity of marriage?