When you see yourself though the eyes of your man(Must Read)

This is a very enlightening article by MPN reader Raj Eteng. Many ladies can relate to this.I can relate to this(In the past)Enjoy and feel free to share your thoughts..she just started writing and needs encouragement ..just like y'all encourage me

Have you ever wondered why his impression of you or his comments about you have the most effect on you? Or how the whole world tells you your lovely but the instant he says you’re not lovely you cringe into this dark hole of insecurity and nothing else matters…not even a truckload of compliments from every other person? That, my dear, is because for some strange reason you seeyourself through his eyes only and you let him define your personality.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against criticisms in relationships. If for anything at all, I think it’s a major part of any union. But lets face it, there’s a fine line between destructive criticism and constructive criticism. In any union, I am of the opinion that its either constructive or nothing at all. 

It is very disturbing that most girls don’t know when to draw the line in their relationships. Sucking up to a guy and his not-so-pleasant ways may have its upsides, when he crosses the line, you need to set the record straight. You may be his girlfriend, but you are ultimately YOU and you define yourself.

An emotional bully may start of as your type of guy, sweet, caring , very articulate and fun to be with. Frankly, no one would blame any girl for falling for such qualities. But then, very slowly, he starts drifting more and more into his ugly persona. At that stage of the relationship when you have become really attached to him, he psychologically gets a grip of your  mentality. 

He conveniently makes you believe what he wants you to in very silent and usually untraceable ways.  He constantly preys on your imperfections and vulnerabilities, makes you believe that your never going to be good enough, creates the mindset that he is doing you a favour by dating you and thus the reason why you must remain by his side no matter what he does to you (afterall, no one else wants you).

I don’t understand how ladies endure through this bitterness for even longer than 5 months (after he stops being sweet ofcourse). I mean, how long does it take to realize that for each minute you spend with him, several ounces of your self esteem find a way to escape from you right into his egotistical being? While your confidence levels depreciates, his appreciates because he clearly feeds off you.

In my opinion, whether or not he gets physical with you, that’s more than enough bullshit that a lady should take.  Forget about your fears, if a man aint doing you right, then it aint right…and you definitely want what is right. Give up trying to change him because in reality, the only person you can change is you.

So, if he hasn’t put a ring on it, then my dear single ladies, it is definitely time to WALK. Making a mistake isn’t the mistake, choosing to remain in your mistake, is the mistake.

Raj Eteng